I can't explain this to you.

I think you have to be pretty spectacularly lazy for this next anecdote to even make sense. You might not understand how it's even possible. But at the deli today, when the guy asked if I wanted lettuce and tomato on my egg salad sandwich, I was actually too lazy to tell him, "just tomato." I just grunted and ate the lettuce. It's insane. But sometimes I feel compelled to do the absolute minimum possible.

If Generalized Anxiety Disorder is real, there has to be a Chronic Laziness Syndrome. I'm a victim, dammit.