You didn't miss that much

These are some of the topics I thought about posting on but was too lazy to write up:

* I crashed my old company's 60th anniversary party at Morton's and had some free lamb chops and bourbon -- but was secretly disappointed I wasn't thrown out.

* "24" put an Elisha Cuthbert scene in a distinctive house that is very, very frequently used as a porn set.

* I think the two main things in life that I don't want are cancer and responsibility. Not necessarily in that order.

* Living in one of the best food towns in America, I've been able to avoid eating in crappy chain restaurants for more than a decade. I spend one lousy day in the suburbs, and I end up patronizing a TGI Friday's AND a Bennigans. A trip to Chili's would have given me the insipid trifecta.

* Traditionally the purest definition of irony is "the firehouse burning down." I now have a better one: "Getting blown by a woman wearing an abstinence bracelet." Apparently her niece had given it to her, and she put it on to be nice.

I still love the view out my window

Not everyone agrees, but I still prefer my urban scenery to "nature". This is my nature, this is my environment, this is where I live.

That is so not right

Well, that backfired

So the Phillies signed Rudy Seanez. He's one of those relief pitchers who bounces from team to team. When I saw the signing hit the wire, I thought to myself, "Man, how old is that fucker? Seems like he's been around forever." So I went to baseball-reference.com, checked his birthdate, and ... oh. He's exactly my age.

Son of a bitch.

They had them by the register. I'm not made of stone.

Honestly, how big a loser geek do you have to be to blow three bucks on these mints?



I'd like to think that I'm only just barely over that line, and not way, way beyond it. I'd like to.

I'm no Gandalf

But I'm getting better with the smoke rings. And I like the way they photograph.

Who's the asshole here?

The scene: I'm at Walgreens buying dried cranberries, a cream soda and a small tin Spider-Man lunch box (impulse buy). A very attractive woman in a hurry and a short skirt -- the type who probably is used to guys being awfully happy to help her out -- taps me on the shoulder and says, "Can I go ahead of you? I only have one thing."

I say, "I've got three," and turn my back. I can't deny enjoying the annoyed noise I heard behind me.