I can't plan for shit

I find that people are often surprised by what I'm into, really into, especially because different people meet me from different contexts. I remember the horror in one person's voice when she was flipping through my CDs and asked, "Why do you have a Cardigans album? Holy shit, why do you have ALL the Cardigans albums?"

No one would mark me as a country guy, and I'm really not, but with Stevie Ray Vaughan gone and Pizzicato Five broken up, the #1 show I want to see any time possible is Junior Brown.



Well I checked his tour schedule, and he's playing the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay the week I'm in Las Vegas in January -- an hour after my flight leaves. And there's an Indian stripper I'd love to take to that show. Goddamnit.

You never hear people say "hanky panky" anymore

I have a dry cleaner in my building, but I go down the block because I like the motherly Korean lady who runs the place. I took my vacation laundry in today, and while she sorted through it, she said, "Ai-ya! Lipstick all over this shirt. You have some hanky panky?"

I think there are people other than doctors and priests who need confidentiality rules.

All my stories have strippers

Several loose ends and stray threads got tied up on this trip to Las Vegas. The top 5 things I learned:

1) I think I know things, but I don't know dick. About betting football, partly, but it's a good thought to keep in mind generally.

2) A burnt orange suit may just look like a slick, stylish brown indoors and at night, but in bright desert sunlight, hoo-boy, it might be pretty orange.

3) For fondue, putting a hunk of rice krispie treat on a stick and dipping it in chocolate is a kick-ass idea.

4) Jesus is only interesting up to a point. And even pretty naked ladies talking about Jesus is only interesting up to a point.

5) If a dancer insists that you exchange cell numbers, sometimes it is because you're going to be friends, but sometimes it's because she's trying to conduct certain types of business off-premises. I should be the last one to be naively unable to tell the difference, but, getting back to lesson #1, I fool the shit out of myself sometimes.

The room was a little small...

... but the view was fantastic.